Re: ATTORNEY HUNTING GUIDE

Posted By: MarcW
Date: Tuesday, 8 August 2000, at 3:23 p.m.

In Response To: For Nancy, a JOTD (MarcW)

[1] Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest attorneys.

[2] The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

[3] The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove roadkill to roadside, then proceed to nearest car wash.

[4] It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or other aircraft.

[5] It shall be unlawful to shout, "whiplash," "ambulance!" or, "Free Perrier!" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

[6] It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

[7] It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.

[8] If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty on the pelt.

[9] Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases.

[10] It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys.

Attorney Bag Limits:

Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5
Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7
Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12
Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20
Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50
Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit
Honest Attorney = Extinct

Messages In This Thread

For Nancy, a JOTD
MarcW -- Tuesday, 8 August 2000, at 3:07 p.m.

Re: ATTORNEY HUNTING GUIDE
MarcW -- Tuesday, 8 August 2000, at 3:23 p.m.

Re: For Nancy, a JOTD
Nancy -- Tuesday, 8 August 2000, at 8:43 p.m.

 

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