These are cute!

Posted By: Nancy
Date: Friday, 11 August 2000, at 9:31 p.m.

Fabric Softener
My wife uses fabric softener.  I never knew what that stuff was for.  Then I noticed women were coming up to me (sniff) "Married" (walked off).  That's how they mark their territory.  You can take off that ring, but its hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

Advertisement in Bills
Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now?  Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them.  I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it. Coffee
grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me, Please? Thank you."

Morning Differences
Men and women are different in the morning. The men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Grandma
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, "Sexy Senior Citizen". You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out there entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

Nancy

 

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