A New Kind of Remote Control

Posted By: Nancy
Date: Saturday, 2 September 2000, at 8:11 p.m.

REMOTELY UNLEAVENED

A brainchild that’s astonishing,

    If rotten to the core,

Is Sony’s new remote control

    Not visualized before.

This new remote will not control

    Your tube or VCR;

It will not start your coffee pot

    Or stereo or car.

Instead, it cues your old remote—

    The one’s that out of reach—

So you need never move to grasp

    The one you can’t beseech.

You simply point your new device

    Directly at your stray,

And, energized, your old remote

    Will tell CDs to play.

So, now, the chances are remote

    You’ll be the Prince of Men,

Because, like bread devoid of yeast,

    You’ll never rise again.

Nancy

 

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