Actual Excerpts from Classifieds

Posted By: Nancy
Date: Monday, 18 September 2000, at 11:16 p.m.

Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Nancy

 

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