LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES!!!!

LEWINSKY VIRUS: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS: Disks can no longer be inserted.

TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky virus): Your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes GOOFY.

PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it
vill be baaack.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS: Gives you a 7-inch hard drive with no memory.